What keeps me sane...

..this is an excerpt from an email between one of my brothers (B2) and I:

Me: Did you hear that I've got a new job starting in January?

B2: If you have the job of interviewing strippers at dance clubs, could I be your apprentice?

Me: You know what's funny? While high as a kite on painkillers last night, Mom asked me if I was the 'lady' from the 'That's why the lady is a tramp' song and now you think I should be interviewing strippers... I clearly need to rethink how I present myself.

Actually, I've been asked to join the faculty at ********** College. You may now call me 'Professor'. ;o)

B2: What are you teaching at ***********? "How to stay sane with an ex-husband, husband, teenage twins, a newborn and a dying mother?"

Me: No, that's going to be the book that gets me on Oprah.

B2: When the book gets made into a movie, who's going to play you (Ju.lia Ro.berts is too old now). And, more importantly, who's going to play me?

Me: I'm shooting for C.harlize Thero.n (a girl can dream). maybe To.m Han.ks for you?

B2: Gee, he's getting old and a bit heavy*. Dani.el Craig would be great....
P.S. - I often dream about Charlize Theron too.

P.P.S. - we could get the chick who plays Penn.y** on Big Bang Th.eory to do you if it's a comedy.

Me: K.... D.aniel Craig it is. .. and I'm pretty sure we're not dreaming the same things about Charlize. Think I can ger Ge.orge Lucas*** to play B1? Suggestions for Sis?

B2: Actually, Juli.a Rob.erts would be ok for Sis. G Lu.cas would be great for B1.

Me: So it's settled then! I feel much better. Now I just need to write the book...(and maybe figure out how to survive first)!

So it's true - I am going to be teaching at an Ontario College starting in the winter semester... I am really looking forward to it as it's WAY better than working retail!

Now I just have to find a wonderful person to watch Chip while I'm at school. I'm already having nightmares about this, so you can imagine this is not going to be an easy exercise.

I won't trust a face like this to just anyone, you know:







*Note: B2 just turned 50.

** B2 swears that Penny from the Big Bang is exactly like me in personality. Being a fan of the show, I have to admit he's right...even Mark says it's so. I was Penny about 20 years ago.

***My eldest brother, B1, is a dead ringer for G.eorge Lucas!

Still here

...just really busy. Mom's in palliative care and I've been going almost everyday to visit with her. Chip comes with me and is the beau of the entire hospital. All of the nurses and most of the patients know him by name.

Life right now is kind of on hold as my family and I spend as much time as we can with my Mom.

I will be back, but it will be a while.

In the meantime, here's some gorgeous nom-nom baby for you...

Well at least I'm not the only one

It seems that other than Dtrini and Outburst, all the bloggers on my list have gone AWOL over the past little while. So I don't feel so bad.

I have been ridiculously busy not only with Chip but also with my Mom who has been very ill, two teenagers that are trying their level best to drive me insane and a very busy husband who is not only working full-time, but is also designing a university course that he'll be teaching in the fall.

Did I mention I am also trying to finish a cross-stitch for Chip and I'm knitting three baby blankets for friends that are due in the near future (one of the blankets I have to finish next week).

Then there's the house to maintain (omg I wouldn't let you in if you showed up at the front door), laundry to do (omg the laundry), various doctors' appointments (for Mom, Chip, The Boy, The Girl, and me) and general miscellaneous stuff.

Needless to say, blogging is very low on my list of things to do right now.

To make up for this, I've attached some pictures of the G.erber baby for your viewing pleasure.

This is Chip's "No Shit, Sherlock. Ya think??" look.



Note the string of drool? Yeah, it's getting worse everyday. Gotta love teething.

Chip is definitely our child. He loves him some laptops! Here he's watching S.esame Street on Y.ouTube.

I'm not dead yet...

..though most days I feel mostly dead (but it's just exhaustion).

Chip is doing well. Growing quickly (he's 14, almost 15 weeks) and is smiling and happy and almost 14 lbs. He has big gorgeous blue eyes and is a great, well behaved baby.

Here's a picture that I took with my cell phone the other day as we were heading out to spend the day with my sister.

Tell me that's not the cutest picture ever!!

Anyway, we're all well and happy and busy. Mossy's not dead either, but I think he's given up blogging. Feel free to hit his blog and NAG HIS ASS to post SOMETHING.

As a final giggle... a condom ad that has, apparently, been banned in the USA. This ad just kills me everytime I watch it. Brilliant!!

Earworm

This has been stuck in my head for nigh on 3 days. These guys are great musicians and I find myself singing their latest release over and over again. :)

I'm pretty sure it has something to do with sleep deprivation and repetitive behaviour (feed baby, change baby, put baby down to sleep, hear baby cry, feed baby, change baby, rinse and repeat).

Edited: Larry brought to my attention that the video didn't run anymore because of copyright crap. So here's a link to the video on another site. Click here

Oh, and here's their latest release on their official You Tube channel: Gotta Be Somebody.

The Best Christmas Gift Ever

I'd like to introduce you to Chip Shagwell-Stone.

He arrived early on December 29th weighing in at 8 lbs and measuring 19 inches.

He is the most amazing, cutest, most kissable, softest, sweet-smellingest baby in the whole wide world.



He also has his Momma's attitude, as clearly shown in this photo:



Ever seen a kid with a better WTF face than this? Notice the hand ready to bitch-slap, too.

I am head over heels in love with my youngest son. He is the ulimate Christmas gift.

Election? Forget the stupid election! I have something Better..

Meet Chip Stone Shagwell



Pretty neat, huh? Gotta love 3D ultrasounds. That's my baby. It's in my tummy right now. I watched Chip rub his/her eyes and wiggle around and cover his/her face with his/her hands and yawn and fall asleep.

And now I cannot wait until January.

Is it time now?

I wanna hold our baby.

12 weeks to go... 12 weeks and 2 days to my due date. I am dying over here with impatience.

Anyway, for the first and probably only time in this child's life, I am totally being a pageant mom.

Chip is up for a Baby of the Month contest. If we win, we receive a 2nd 3D ultrasound absolutely free.

Normally, I wouldn't care about this but, y'see, Mossy didn't get to go to the first ultrasound because he had "must attend" meetings at work (which were cancelled, right in the middleof my ultrasound).

I *really* want him to see this in action. It's the most amazing, surreal, breathtaking, heartswelling thing short of child birth itself.

So I'm not-so-humbly asking you all to go here, everyday between now and October 22nd, and vote for the cute one in the middle, known as "Baby Sheppard".

Thanks!

Thank you, Thank you Very Much..

Apparently Chip is due on Elvis' birthday, January 10th.

My chiro's assistant/receptionist -- who is a die-hard HUGE forever and ever Elvis groupie - informed me of this the other day.

I was slightly horrified as I missed the whole Elvis pandemonium and only think of this:



She was ecstatic because when she thinks of Elvis, she sees this:



She now calls me "Baby Elvis Mama".

Gah.

I really hope the baby isn't born on its due date.

Introducing...

...the Chip off the Mossy Stone...the Sprog of Shagwell...

Our baby.

Hi, My Name Is Penny

...and I'm a hormonal mess.

I don't remember being this weepy when pregnant with the Wondertwins, but then again that was a long time ago.

However, I am now crying at commercials. The one below gets me every time...



Want to know what else makes me weepy? My babies are all grown up. Here are pictures from their Grade 8 Graduations (school here goes JK - Gr 8 and then high school to Gr. 12).

Here's my gorgeous baby girl:



Here's my handsome little boy - look all grown up with his hair straightened*:


As my babies head towards high school, the same thought keeps going through my head: thank God I'm having one more. I need a baby in the house.

I will always need something to baby. I guess when Chip grows up and moves out, I'll have to get a dog or something....cuz God knows Mossy won't let me have any more kids!

*When The Boy described how the stylist had straightened his hair, he said, "Mom, it looks just like Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi!" Heinous Geekery from my boy!